Updated: Feb 17
In many ways this piece is one of the most difficult and vulnerable pieces for me to share, and it took me a long time to finally make this public…..here goes….
I am a Priestess, in all the vastness of this “title”: a conduit for the Divine, devoted to a life of service to guide others first and foremost, and to hold a frequency of the Divine Feminine for the sake of the planet’s evolution. I truly believe I have been a Priestess for many lifetimes, and have been ostracized for being one, or a witch, or any form or female healer for that matter, also in many life times before, at least dating as far back as the times of Mary Magdalene, when it was not safe for women to share their gifts with the world, and women had to fulfill their calling underground, in fear.
Meredith Rom, a yoga teacher, author, women’s leadership coach and host of the Rising Women Leaders podcast, identifies five wounds of the Priestess, and how they may be affecting one’s capacity to showing up to, for one’s calling:
1) Fear of being seen.
2) Fear of being judged.
3) Being alone and isolated.
4) Feeling unworthy or not enough.
5) Being highly sensitive (which can be both a blessing and a curse).
One remedy for all of the above, is that of having a support structure in the form of mentors, sisters, community and friends who love you, “warts and all”. This post therefore serves as both encouragement to other female healers to find your tribe, as well as a public statement to all of you reading this, in that I am here and I need your love and support, as we do not exist in a vacuum, and we need each other to co-create our reality….
I am sure you are familiar with the expression “as within, so without”, and we can all agree that we do not have much control over our external environment. However, I can truly testify that we create our reality form the inside out and we can do that by means of shadow work, something which I am very passionate about.
There is a clause to this phenomenon though, in that we create and co-create our reality, either consciously or unconsciously, within the framework or limitations of fate, using our free will. Astrologers can determine what the broad strokes of our fate are, when they do our natal charts. These personal attributes of our lives are viewed by practically almost all mystical traditions as our life lessons which our souls chose to experience before we even incarnated – some call it karmic imprints or samskaras. Based on Norse mythology, we are all participants in the web of wyrd, which is this weaving of fate and free will.
Important to note though, is that in some ways we have more free will than what we think, as, quoting the world renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung; "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate." And in other ways we have less free will than what we think, as, when I am suggesting that you are creating your reality, I am not taking on “The Secret’s” approach with this notion that you exist in vacuum and if your reality is a bit screwed up, it is all your fault because you created it, or alternatively, that you can have or become anything in the world you ever want to.
Rather, life is about relationships and we are relating to all things at all times, and EVERYTHING is interconnected within the whole. Our capacity to create our reality depends on our ability to respond to life’s myriad of choices on a daily basis. The intersection between fate and free will then is the present moment, where the power lies in slowing down, and being present to what is: using an analogy involving our experience of music, instead of saying “oh my word this music is awful and I am just going to try closing my ears off to it, and entertain some form of escapism or avoidance behaviour”, we can rather approach it by saying: “so this is the music that is playing right now, and I am choosing to dance to it in this particular way”. It is easier said than done though, I know…, but living life as if it is one big stage show, where we can choose and create our own narrative or choreography for our stage performance, using the props provided by fate, becomes easier, the more we become aware of our limiting beliefs stemming from childhood.
Fortunately, we can use the people, events and situations to mirror our limiting beliefs back to us, in those times when we are being triggered with disproportionate reactions and find ourselves in patterns that repeat themselves over and over and over again.
As we re-write our limiting core beliefs from childhood, we can also look to our childhood for clues as to what our life purpose is, in Women's bodies, Women's wisdom, Dr Northrup explains how we can access much inspiration inasmuch what we came here to be and do is concerned, by revisiting what we enjoyed doing before the age of nine, before we have started to contort ourselves to familial, cultural and societal norms and expectations. If we can identify what we enjoyed doing, just for the sake of doing it, then we have more of an idea as to what the chapter headings of life story can be, while living life as if we are in the realm of mythology and the collective unconscious (which we are, based on Jungian psychology).
As a child, I have written poems about Nature, and inspirational pieces about how to love others and Mother Nature, and I distinctly remember climbing into a tree with a make-shift drum, coaxing my younger brother to do the same so that we can sing those poems which I wrote to the sound of drumbeat.
Above is one such piece of writing, translating: Love: love is something special to someone who is overweight, physically unattractive and poor, as nobody wants to be their friend. Therefore we have to give them double the amount of love. Do not belittle them, because God made them with a purpose. They also have something which they can be proud of. Perhaps they even have better hearts than the pretty, rich and healthy people. Therefore, we have to look out for them and we will be blessed. Also, think of the hungry animals in the world. When you encounter a thin, stray dog, give him what he hungers for, because, how would you feel if you did not have a home and you have to beg for piece of bread? Therefore people, MAKE NATURE LOVE! This was one of a few pieces I wrote, in addition to writing the script of a radio show called "Probeer is die beste geweer!", translated as " To try doing something, is the best weapon". After many years since writing this, and spending many years at University, I came full circle with this notion of being a motivational speaker, and a coach/therapist, as well as a tantrica in my quest for Divine Love.
I also loved going to the circus and trying out some of the aerial circus acts on a rope which my dad hung form a tree for me to swing on.
All of these attributes are now culminating and crystallising in my offerings as a Priestess, and I am excited to continue to refine and expand and share them with those who resonate.
I hereby claim that from now on, I want to be seen for who I am, for my life’s work to be appreciated, to be part of a supportive network, to be worthy and use my gift of being highly sensitive to be a channel for the Great Goddess, and I need your help with this. If you feel called to work with me (be it as a client, sister, collaborator, friend, or student), do not hesitate to connect.
My offerings include:
- Menstrual(moon) cycle awareness and holistic hormone balancing sessions,
- Shadow work therapy sessions,
- Toaist tantra sessions,
- Private yoga classes,
- Yoni egg and wand sales, home-grown and made smudge bundles, and,
- Sisterhood circles